Hey Girl!

This is my new favorite thing. Enjoyyyyyy.

The Man Without a Facebook

Oh my god, you guys. I've struck gold. I've struck internet gold! Every video on the website tastefullyoffensive.com has been amazing to watch. I've re-posted like three videos already, not to mention spamming my friends on facebook with hilarious videos.

Here is another one.

Perhaps the BEST Epic Rap Battle

What do you think?



That was intense. I think Shakespeare won because he rapped on his own and super fast. Dr. Suess had his characters speak for them (but I liked the Cat in the Hat part best).

Favorite lines:

"...and then ask what light through yonder poser breaks." -Shakespeare
and
"...break a foot off in your ass with our feetie pajamas." -Thing 1 & 2

Handlebar Mustache Club

Another disadvantage to being a woman. Being British, having an awesome mustache, AND sitting around with your chums drinking large quantities of beer? Ohhhh man, what a life!

Note the dangers of being awesome.

"Gone Wilde"

Feats: Biting Apples Whilst Juggling Apples

My notes:
1) Hahaha; impressive.
2) Wins the record for most awesome world record.
3) What a face (I smell another world record...) or, alternatively, "apple-faced goon."
4) I enjoy biting into apples too much to ever rush the process by also juggling. I will kindly sit this one out.

Captain Spandex Fetish

Spandex fetishes entertain me thoroughly.

I don't completely get it but I kind of get it. I mean, I've worn tights before. It's kind of cool how smooth and slide-y your legs are when you wear them. In the video below, you can tell he definitely enjoys the slide-y smooth aspect of his fetish. Could you imagine wearing one of those suits on a dry (possibly wet) slip'n'slide? What about an inflatable obstacle course? A freshly polished marble floor? From where I'm standing, the possibilities for fun are endless.

The thing about these Youtube videos (pretty sure there are hundreds, if not thousands) is the lack of inaction. This fetish seems pretty innocent and that's why I like it. The entire time he is positioning himself in different poses and touching his body (not in a directly sexual way). They all seem to be like that. But, I'm no expert. I'm writing this post without having conducted an ounce of research, save for  a few videos (one in a Spider Man suit!)



Did you watch the whole thing? Did you see what started to happen around the 1 minute mark?  Surprise! I wonder how many suits you can wear before things, like breathing, get a little complicated. I think he's technically wearing three suits, like a nude prep suit? I don't know. I saw another video where he was stuffing pillows in his suit and he had a base coat.

My final thought: Super heroes.

The Heart Wants What the Heart Wants

This is how most of my marriage proposals go.

"The Rarest of Things"

This is a film recorded in 1896 by the Lumiere Brothers. The colors of the dancer's dress were hand-tinted into the film frame by frame. Isn't that just incredible? It's so beautiful! Imagine how much work it takes to color film by hand, especially when it takes 24 frames of film for every second of viewing. I imagine a tired old man hunched over in his studio, wearing glasses with various magnifying lens attachments (exactly like this or this) and working with tiny brushes to keep the color perfectly in the lines. That must be so intense. The dancer reminds me of a flower. Pause the film at any point and it looks super cool. Music is Sigur Ros- "Se Lest." I recommend watching this before you go to bed to ensure magical and strange Labyrinth-like dreams (aka my dreams aka my dream wedding aka over-share!)

Jesus Christ Is Lord Not A Swear Word

It has come to my attention that there are several people haven't ever witnessed the miracles that are the Jesus videos. Sinners, I am here to show you the way, out from the dark into the light! Can I get a hallelujah! Can I get an Amen!

Every line spoken is a line to memorize and drop into casual conversation. Trust (in) me & enjoy!

Jesus Video #1--Jesus Needs a Break

Reblogging: "A Whole New World"

Okay, so I instantly identified with this video for several reasons:

1. I used to do similar shit when I was younger, except I didn't have the technological know-how to record myself and post it online (which I am entirely thankful for!) I used a karaoke machine and it was the Mulan soundtrack. Dressing up still occurred.

2. Whenever I do this duet with someone else, I'm always Aladdin! I don't know if my unnaturally deep voice (ha, just kidding! It's like the opposite--think, Mickey Mouse!) is perfect for the part or what.

3. Do you see the McDonald's fries carton on her wall as decoration? Fries sound really good right now. Plus, who DIDN'T tack fast food packaging to their walls---- just normal American teenager stuff. "This is me!"


COMPLAINTS:
Take an acting class, kid. Or at least learn to pretend like you are enjoying what you're doing. You look like someone off camera is poking you with something sharp, forcing you to make this video. If that's the case, learn how to cry for help better! And what kind of eye line is that? Are you--are you reading the lyrics as you go? Can you not find where the computer is recording?

Hrrrrry Pttrrrr MekUp Tutrrrrlll.

In celebration for the much anticipated HP7 pt 2 movie bonanza craziness that awaits us shortly, I am gifting you with a tutorial. A Hagrid How-To! GET EXCITED! Everyone loves Hagrid. Just look at what the fans are saying. The common man, the you, the me. Here we have representation of Hagrid that recalls Gaston a la Disney's Beauty and the Beast. I expect this Hagrid to bust out into song about his chest hairs any minute now. Strong. Manly. Hagrid.

Clearly, it's decided by almost everybody that Hagrid is the next Johnny Depp, aka a SEX SYMBOL! Move over, Brad Pitt!  So, fellas, why not dress like him? He's all women talk/ fantasize about. It's right there in the Cosmopolitan research. Trust me, I read it for you!


Hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. Same girl who did the Avatar Make Up Tutorial, which had me thoroughly entertained for months.

Classic eBaum's World Revisited

So, I've been in the mood for some internet throwbacks and I can't find one website that has compiled all the goodness for me so I guess I have to do it! Here ya go!

----Aicha----


----Numa Numa----


----Milk and Cereal----


----Badger Badger----


----What What (In The Butt)-----


----The End of the World-----


----My Hands Are Bananas----



----Schfifty Five----


Haha most of these are songs with repetitive words..... no cats?!? What am I missing?

Droppin' Truth Bombs

I Found Genuis! Spread It Like Herpes

So you might probably be aware of a certain Katherine Chloe Cahoon, famed author of hit novel Single Girls Guide to Meeting European Men. She graciously sacrificed her youth to many years of painstaking research, the fruits of which recovered the true meaning of life for any single (or otherwise) woman (or otherwise, even). The obvious truth that sprang from her over-glossed lips was "European Men"! Upon publishing her novel, Katherine began making youtubes for her fans who cannot read (that's probably the majority of her fanbase). Blah blah blah... watch her video if I haven't already forced you to...or revisit the glory.




My question has always been: WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS SHE IS COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS? Sorry for shouting. Last time I checked, most of the user comments were praising her genius, the very opposite of my reaction. BUT then, months later, when I revisited this KCC craziness, I discovered a spoof of her. I <3 parodies! And this one takes the cake! It only has like 2 comments and 8 likes, WTF indeed. Please watch, comment, spread, and repeat.

An Engineer's Guide to Cats

Lazy (Archives)

Lauren & Katie Present...

"Lazy Sunday"

This alcohol-induced gem is from two years ago, but feel free to judge because we are more or less the same!

Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache Day

I hope you do your part, ladies...

From the Archives of my Heart

waverlyfilms.com

Epic Rap Battle Between Hitler and Darth Vader

Who do you think should win?