But is it Art?

 Ever since Marcel Duchamp submitted a urinal as a piece of art in 1917, everything has become art! I mean, I love you, Marcel. You did some really cool things. And you were the original bad ass. What you did was CRAZY for your time! Snaps! But today, things have gotten a little out of hand. Is that apple art or is it just an apple? Can I still eat it if its art? These are the questions I am faced with on a daily basis. Below are some crazy art forms/ pieces of art. Is it all art? Are we art?

Scott Wade
Dirty Car Art
He brushes away bits of dust with a paint brush, using gray scale values to make his images. The medium is unique but the technique is very traditional. ART!

Bryan Berg
Cardstacker
Oh, boy. I'm going with a definite yes on this one. It may possibly take more skill to stack and balance cards than it does to brush away dust. The best I can do with cardstacking is a modest three-card shack. I think building anything from anything is definitely art. Building requires skill. Reminds me of the guy who made a ship from like a billion toothpicks. Do you know what I'm talking about? Click here to see pictures because it really is amazing.

For Use/ Numen (A Design Collective in Vienna)

Tape Installations

Another example of making something from something. Right, right, right.

I wonder what that all that tape smells like after so many people run and crawl through it. 

I feel like tape gets funky after awhile, you know?

BUT! (here's the big butt) I would definitely say that this is not art. What do you think? These guys walked into a New York convenience store and purchased EVERYTHING! They then took some of those convenience store items, placed them in clear cases and called them art. An upside down coke can, for instance, is selling for $150. I hate that. I hate them. Just because you give something a ridiculous price value doesn't mean it's art. I don't know why anyone would buy a $50 Bic lighter. There is nothing unique about it and you can pick up regularly priced lighters everywhere. Sure, sure, it's for charity--for the owner of the convenience store. Great! Raise those funds but don't you dare trample on the meaning of art in the process.

It's not art, it's just shit. Thoughts?

Feats: Biting Apples Whilst Juggling Apples

My notes:
1) Hahaha; impressive.
2) Wins the record for most awesome world record.
3) What a face (I smell another world record...) or, alternatively, "apple-faced goon."
4) I enjoy biting into apples too much to ever rush the process by also juggling. I will kindly sit this one out.

The Medical Uses of a Gravy Boat

I have a question. Why do neti pots look so much like invalid feeders? (I can see any leftover expression melt off your face as a blank stare takes over. "Wtf is she talking about?" you say to yourself, either in your head or under your breath, with a tinge of anger. And then you consider why it is that you even read this blog anymore...)  Allow me to break it down and provide visuals.

We all know what a neti pot is, right? That ceramic tea pot that you fill with luke warm salt water and shove up your nostrils. The water goes through one nostril and out the other and catches all the odds and ends floating around inside your nasal cavity and drains it out. It sure looks super cool....

Okay, number two. What is an invalid feeder? Excellent question, I didn't know what one was until about two minutes ago, when I stumbledupon.com'd it. It's for feeding liquids to sickies who can't take their liquids themselves. During Civil War times. Here is the picture I found.

See? Super similar. It's like the chicken and the egg all over again. The literature I read that covered neti pot history made no mention of the feeder and vise-versa. Both kindly and quietly pretend that the other doesn't exist...and I suppose that's fine? But the design is flawed for both purposes. For plugged up or snotty users, the neti pot's stout is so large looking! I'd really think twice before trying to shove that up my nose. Why not make it just a little smaller? It's like they've never seen a nostril before! (Which leads me back to my suspicions that they ripped off the invalid feeders.) As for the 19th and 20th century doctors and nurses who thought that the invalid feeders were a life-saving device....what's wrong with using a cup? I don't quite see the benefits of that stout when you could just but small amounts of liquid in a cup. How about a straw? I know the first paper one's weren't invented quite yet, but you guys did have those natural rye grass straws laying about.

Actually, the best use of this type of container is for gravy. It holds a lot of gravy but keeps you from ruining your mashed potato castle when you are filling in the moat. Thank god, because if you let any more corn drown on your watch, it's to the dungeon with you!

Now watch this! (The whole thing. It's only what? three minutes or so? spoiler alert: he cleans his passages with alcohol!)

[Editor's Note: This post is a result of me running out of interesting things to write about, but blogging anyway to appease the hungry demands of my reader(s). Please give me some solid topics for me to write about! Or be a guest blogger! Or both!]

Disneyland When No One Is Looking

One thing I love about Disneyland is how magically clean it is. Every time I visit the park, it looks like it has just opened. And I got a special invitation for a sneak peak visit. "Welcome, Princess Katie!" an animatronic blue bird chirps as I step through the turnstile at the ticket booth. Once through the portal, a park employee named Eduardo places a diamond encrusted tiara on my head. As he does that, he whispers "welcome home" into my ear, which sends tingles of excitement down my back. Eduardo snaps my picture and then hands me a map. A marching band plays "Push It" by Salt-n-Pepper in the background.

This is an incredible feat for a place that receives 40,000 visitors daily. Clearly, I do way more damage to my one bedroom apartment all by myself! I don't think you understand how impressed I am!

Sounds Like Childhood: Voices Behind Disney Characters

Hello, blog! Boy, it sure has been awhile! I'm sorry I haven't called or written... I've just been super busy. I hope this distance hasn't come between us.

Anyway, today I want to talk about Disney ("Oh boy, here we go again"- you) ...specifically the voices behind our favorite Disney characters. I've always had a tendency to be particularly snobby when it comes to knowing the names of the voice actors and the many characters they play. I always award myself special snob points for knowing both the singing and the talking actors names. It takes a certain degree of discipline to be able to derive so much self-confidence from having such obscure knowledge at one's disposal. Ah, so it goes!

Quick aside, my second favorite aspect of Disney to explore is the Southern California theme park & the history behind it. There is a FANTASTIC (fangasmic???) site that I recently discovered called Yesterland (and the url is quite simple... www.yesterland.com) that gives the history of rides and attractions that used to call the park its home. Check it out! My hands-down all-time favorite RIP attraction is the submarine ride. How much fun was that?! Also, I wish I was around in the 1960s when they had real mermaids lounging around in the neighboring lagoon, waving to folks & getting skin cancer. *Magical Moments!*

Back to voices. One of my housies and I were looking up the voices of characters, like the baby from the hit television show Dinosaurs (1991)! Fun fact: actor who voices the baby is the same actor who brought Elmo to life. What the who?! His name is Kevin Clash & he DOES NOT look or sound like someone who lends his voice to a giggling puppet. Google that shit. All this is to say, I stumbly-stumbled onto this video series from 100+ years ago that definitely falls into the catagory of fangasmic (especially if you some sort of childhood-Disney character fetish-- why wouldn't you?). So I'm bringing it to the people so they can witness these miracles and have fangasms until the cows come (cum?) home.







There are the first three to get you started... I'm empowering you to be come
disney snobs like myself! Go out and judge all who aren't as knowledgeable as you! Its wayyyyy more fun to watch if you repeat the actors & copy their voices. Think of it as a foreign language video. Wayne Allwine in video #1 is especially fun to imitate! Have fun kids!



Editors Note: The writer of this blog would like to apologize for such a shitty post after a long and unexplained absence. Said writer has been experiencing great periods of unnecessary stress and little sleep, the effects of which can be seen in this blog entry. Additionally, this basketcase is also a lazy-ass and cannot bring herself to hit the delete button, to turn back the hand of time and erase your eyes and brain from experiencing my corny & mildy (extremely?) creepy sexy talk about Disney. For the love of God, its just a bunch of old men making silly voices. Nothing sexy about that... nothing.

WELCOME BACK, FOLKS!

Editors Note 2: It's amazing the amount of words I can write & still say nothing.
#barf

Buffalo buffalo buffalo...

Did you know that....

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo

...is a grammatically correct sentence in the English language? Yep.

It is because the word 'buffalo' has three meanings and uses: the name of the place Buffalo, New York (used as a noun adjunct in the sentence), the noun for the animal, and the verb which means to bully, confuse, deceive, or intimidate.

If you substitute the noun buffalo for bison and break down the sentence it essentially means:

Buffalo bison whom other Buffalo bison, themselves bully Buffalo bison.

This Pie is So Good

"Actors must practice self restraint, else think what might happen in a love scene."

-Cedric Hardwicke

Update: This James Franco bit is actually part of a larger series featuring 14 actors doing classic screen types (whatever that is, I'm no film major) Check 'em out, they're actually really good! If you're pressed for time, just watch the Javier Bardem or Vincent Cassel ones (tres bien). CLICK HERE!

Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache Day

I hope you do your part, ladies...

Awkward Pet Photos

So I was watching Cats 101 (surprise, surprise) and I decided I totally want a Devon Rex cat. You should google the breed. As kittens, these cats look like strange alien bats but they get kind of cute when they grow into their ears? Sort of?
Well, while googling the various breeds, I found some awesomely strange owner & pet photographs.
There is also a whole website dedicated to pics like these, awkwardfamilypetphotos.com, which I stole some photos from.
Enjoy!

Workin' Out With My Merkin Out

A quick historical sketch of the merkin:

A merkin is a pubic wig that first appeared around the 1450s. Its original intent was to cover up the unsightly sores of syphilis. Syphilis outbreaks occurred frequently in the 1500s, causing huge numbers of deaths but also keeping merkin-makers in business. One early and common treatment for syphilis was mercury. Patients would drink, inhale, or inject mercury with the hopes of curing their STDs. In fact, mercury remained the common treatment for syphilis and other skin diseases until the late 1800s. And while people waited around for their sores to heal, they'd simply slap on some fake fur and it'd all be good! 

Hey! Grandpa Just Tweeted From The Grave!

Feast your eyes on a the new modern tomb, the E-Tomb, brought to us by Japanese designers.

The E-Tomb itself would store the recently deceased electronic data--like Facebook pages, blogs, pictures, videos--which can be revisited by friends and family. This miracle-maker is equipped with a blue tooth panel that is solar powered. A great way to keep in touch with the dearly departed?