Happy Monday, Everybody!

Lego Master: Alex Eylar

Legos! They're the best! Unless the only thing you can make is
crappy box that you cleverly call modern architecture. Really, I've never lasted more than 10 minutes (that's what he said) trying to work some magic with legos. Maybe its for that very reason that I am fascinated by anyone who can build skyscrapers and dreams with those little plastic bricks. Like the Lego Imagination Center in
Downtown Disney with their lifesize lego Chewbaca and giant giraffe? Cramazing! Imagine my delight when I stumbled across one Alex Eylar, a master of legos, and his creations online.

"Quotes"

"The earth is my body; my head is in the stars."- Harold and Maude, 1971

My mood ring is dark blue.

Old Women Love Dolphins

Being the boring old woman that I am, I have CNN set as my homepage. I thought I'd be getting the type of serious news politicians and stockbrokers eat for breakfast, so that one day I too can become a serious politician or stockbroker.  But I've quickly learned that CNN is like Yahoo with a Harvard degree. It's all just fancy crap! Like the other day, they prefaced a report about a Salvation Army roof caving in with the alarming words "BREAKING NEWS." No one caused the roof to break down, no one was injured. A woman near by heard a sound. SLOW NEWS DAY???? How is that breaking news, let alone news? I'm sure roofs cave in all the time and its no big deal.

But every once in a while, CNN will tell me something really cool. Like dolphins hamming it up in front of mirrors because they are probably smarter than humans. THAT'S NEWS! Forgive me if Yahoo one-uped CNN and already featured this video and you have all seen it. I've been very busy with investments medicare quandary physics global filibuster things.

Reminds me of this! Douglas Adams knew all along!

NERDS!!!!!!!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Childhood, Revisited (Needs More Thrust???!!)

You really have to hand it to the makers of children's movies. The ones that are well done have many rich layers, that appeal to children and adults. They reference things you never even begin to spot when you see it as a kid. A few days ago, I watched Chicken Run. Still the best! But this viewing was very different that my previous viewings as a child and young adult. I was completely oblivious to the WWII references ("how can you be so naive??"-you may find yourself asking). I had just studied the Holocaust in one of my classes so the images were still fresh in my mind and when the beginning sequence started, I knew recognized it instantly.

Rants and Raves: National Geographic Photography Contest 2010

National Geographic can be pretty awesome sometimes (you know, when it's not being racist) and its that time of year for the Nat Geo Annual Photography Contest. This year the winner will receive a whopping $10,000 and have their photo published in the magazine. The deadline is actually Nov 30th... you snap-happy people out there still have a few more days to submit your work! I highly encourage it! There are some fan-fucking-tastic photos in the bunch! Seriously!

Mona Lisa

Da Vinci

Lazy (Archives)

Lauren & Katie Present...

"Lazy Sunday"

This alcohol-induced gem is from two years ago, but feel free to judge because we are more or less the same!

Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache Day

I hope you do your part, ladies...

Awkward Pet Photos

So I was watching Cats 101 (surprise, surprise) and I decided I totally want a Devon Rex cat. You should google the breed. As kittens, these cats look like strange alien bats but they get kind of cute when they grow into their ears? Sort of?
Well, while googling the various breeds, I found some awesomely strange owner & pet photographs.
There is also a whole website dedicated to pics like these, awkwardfamilypetphotos.com, which I stole some photos from.
Enjoy!

From the Archives of my Heart

waverlyfilms.com

Storytime, part 2...

With Bob Powers

"You're Nude Pete and you just woke up in an empty hospital that looks like the aftermath of a bloody battle. When you walk into the hall, you'll find that people have written stuff from the bible in red paint on the walls, and there's trash all over the place and doors torn off their hinges. Looks like you're the only who survived some kind of war between the living and the walking dead.

Epic Rap Battle Between Hitler and Darth Vader

Who do you think should win?

Sex Advice From The People Who Matter Most

Nerve.com has a reoccuring segment where they ask for sex and relationship advice from a variety of people---celebrities, haunted house workers, young republican, etc. 

What Do These Have In Common?

Hmmm???

Holy Tourism, Batman!

Picture it: the year is 2010 and people no longer have a need for super-heroes. We just don't commit crime like we used to. I mean, who has time anymore? When would you go shopping for an all-black outfit and a sleek mask? After work and before the groceries? Who's going to pick up the kids? Well, I can't go, I have to stay here and prepare facebook for my E-Tomb. Anyway, super-heroes have lost their place in the world. Now, picture it some more: Batman, in New York City, strapped for cash and working as a tour guide...

Fuck Yeah, Gay Vintage!

Check out this cool new Tumblr that collects and posts old-timey photographs of gay and lesbian couples, as well as some campy & fun novel covers...

fyeahgayvintage.tumblr.com

Here are my favs:

Workin' Out With My Merkin Out

A quick historical sketch of the merkin:

A merkin is a pubic wig that first appeared around the 1450s. Its original intent was to cover up the unsightly sores of syphilis. Syphilis outbreaks occurred frequently in the 1500s, causing huge numbers of deaths but also keeping merkin-makers in business. One early and common treatment for syphilis was mercury. Patients would drink, inhale, or inject mercury with the hopes of curing their STDs. In fact, mercury remained the common treatment for syphilis and other skin diseases until the late 1800s. And while people waited around for their sores to heal, they'd simply slap on some fake fur and it'd all be good! 

Similarities

  

More...

And Now For Something Completely Different...

No love for this cat's muffin top!


Attempt #1:

Attempt #2:

Storytime...

With David Sedaris

Paraphrasing a newspaper clipping he received from a stranger:

"It concerned an eighty-one-year-old Vermont man whose home was overrun by mice. The actual house was not described, but in my mind it was two stories tall and isolated on a country road. I also decided that it was painted white--not that it mattered much, I just thought it was a nice touch. So, the retired guys house was overrun, and when he could no longer bear it, he fumigated. The mice fled into the yard and settled into a dead pile of leaves, which no doubt crackled beneath their weight. Thinking he had them trapped, the man set the pile on fire, then watched as a single flaming mouse raced back into the basement and burned the house to the ground."

When You Are Engulfed in Flames, pg 196

Sweet Cheese Dreams

I've always been fond of the idea that eating cheese before bed causes nightmares. It just seems fitting that something so delicious, innocent, and gas-inducing could have such a powerful and terrifying effect on our subconscious. One of my good friends swears by this phenomenon, for she has the strangest nightmares after every over-indulgence of Olive Garden's Five Cheese Ziti al Forno.  It is, however, my sad duty to report that this is largely a myth...
Thankfully, as the saying goes, every cloud has a swiss lining (...too much?), and research shows that certain cheeses encourage certain dreams! Strange but true!

Hey! Grandpa Just Tweeted From The Grave!

Feast your eyes on a the new modern tomb, the E-Tomb, brought to us by Japanese designers.

The E-Tomb itself would store the recently deceased electronic data--like Facebook pages, blogs, pictures, videos--which can be revisited by friends and family. This miracle-maker is equipped with a blue tooth panel that is solar powered. A great way to keep in touch with the dearly departed?

Color Me Funny

Spotlight: Kate Beaton

Beaton is a hilarious Canadian webcomic artist and her web series Hark! A Vagrant is quickly becoming one of my favorites to read. Her work is largely based on historical and literary figures, which is perfect for the nerds at heart! Highlights include: Courtly Love series, Austen comics, the Sherlock and Two Watsons, and Pony Prince. In the grand scheme of things, they are all highlights.

Here's a sample of her comics:

Check her out! harkavagrant.com

Little Deaths

This guy knows what I'm talking about.

In the 16th and 17th century, people believed that during intercourse a man's blood turned into semen. This led many physicians to recommend that men limit their number of ejaculations.

Poets sometimes described sexual relations as little deaths---"Oh, I die, I die" was a standard poetic conceit for orgasm.

Hungry?

"I hear the cook puts the most delicious secret sauce on the burgers."
--you


Ohhhhh snap!

Other People's Words

"What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness."- Tolstoy

Poisoned Eclairs Spinning on a Lazy Susan

Spotlight: Dion McGregor

Dion McGregor was a songwriter in the 1960s and 70s who never really amounted to fame and fortune. Instead, he became known for his somniloquies, or vivid & verbal descriptions of his dreams, while he slept at night. According to wikipedia, Dion

"adopted various personas but frequently established a fey, argumentative, insolent approach to the subject at hand – be it a hot air balloon trip to the moon with a group of multi-ethnic children, a frantic journey around New York, or a tattooing job on a woman's tongue."


 My personal favorite is his narration of playing a round of "food roulette" with poisoned eclairs on a lazy suzan, which I provided after the jump. His somniloquies can be found on a few CDs (money well spent, in my opinion) and conveniently on youtube...