Sex Advice From The People Who Matter Most

Nerve.com has a reoccuring segment where they ask for sex and relationship advice from a variety of people---celebrities, haunted house workers, young republican, etc. 

Here are the highlights:

Q: What’s the best thing about having sex with a Jackass cast member?
Johnny Knoxville: It won’t take that long. You can have the rest of your day to do whatever you
want.
Chris Pontius: You don’t have to worry about us falling in love.

Q: What do you think about having sex outdoors? What would sex under a double rainbow be like?

Bear "Double- Rainbow Guy" Vasquez: I think it would be amazing! I’ve never done it, but I think it would be incredible. I probably could do it, because I find them a lot. I go to places with waterfalls and stuff — but I usually go alone. I hadn’t thought of it, but now that you bring it up, I think I’m going to try it. I could probably make that happen.

Q: My girlfriend is demanding that I trim my pubic hair. I think it's unfair, since I think she's sexy no matter what she does down there. She claims that it's not an option for her to stop trimming, since society holds women to different standards. I agree, but still don’t want to shave my balls? Who's right?

Kristen Schaal: Well, society is not forcing your girlfriend to trim her pubes. No one sees her pubes but you, hopefully. She shouldn't be the boss of your balls . . . but she is. Shave for her one time if you love her. But make her wear the pube shavings in a locket around her neck so she’ll never forget what you did for her.

Rich Blomquist: Don’t forget that shaving is a proven technique for making your junk look bigger. Even average penises can disappear in a forest of pubes. Not every lady is a forest ranger.

Q: My girlfriend just dumped me and moved out of the apartment. That’s fine, but now the bookshelves are empty and the walls are bare. Got any quick interior design tips to help ensure that my visitors don’t think I’m boring?

Judah Friedlander: It sounds like Nerve.com has got a lot of slutty readers. But that’s their right. This is America, where you’re allowed to be as slutty as you want. Anyway, to answer the question, a good way to get start is putting a copy of my book in your apartment. I would say have my book there, and no other book. It does feature a nude centerfold of me, though. Do not cut out the centerfold of me and put it on your wall; whether you are straight or gay, your partners will too be obsessed with my photo, and they will ignore you. So I’d say have the book in the room — that shows respect — but I wouldn’t put up the nude photo of me. If you did, you’d never get laid again.

Q: I hooked up with my coworker while drunk at an office party, but I'm not interested in dating her. What should I do now?
Danny McBride: Kind of too late. You already took a shit where you eat, homeboy. That's not a good thing. Just ride out the awkwardness. See how weird it'll get, and maybe she'll quit. Make things weirder. Push it a little. Maybe send flowers to her from an anonymous person. Just start coming off like a stalker.

Kristen Schaal and Rich Blomquist, being the sexperts that they are, recently came out with a book called The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex: The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Sexuality. Hilarious and has pictures! You can pick it up at your local bookstore! 

Here's a clip to wet your appetite...