"Gone Wilde"

Stop Motion Animation-Stop-Very Awesome-Stop. (Telegram Jokes)

You know what I love? Stop-motion animation. It's seriously the best! It is soooo much work to make things move that shouldn't be moving. I love it.

I stumbled upon this small animation company called Sumo Science. These dudes apparently made the world's smallest AND the world's largest stop-motion animation films using a Nokia N8 (aka camera phone aka super bad ass--so they are also kind of Nokia commercials but so what? It helped them make something really cool.)

Here is the small film, appropriately titled Dot.


Nokia 'Dot' from Sumo Science on Vimeo.

Feats: Biting Apples Whilst Juggling Apples

My notes:
1) Hahaha; impressive.
2) Wins the record for most awesome world record.
3) What a face (I smell another world record...) or, alternatively, "apple-faced goon."
4) I enjoy biting into apples too much to ever rush the process by also juggling. I will kindly sit this one out.

"I read once that the ancient Egyptians had fifty words for sand & the Eskimos had a hundred words for snow. I wish I had a thousand words for love, but all that comes to mind is the way you move against me while you sleep & there are no words for that." -Brian Andreas, Story People

Delicate Wings Cease to Beat

Here is a short film by Paul Kroeker. The filmmaker found a dying dragonfly on his deck and captured the last of its life.


Last Moments Of Life from Paul Kroeker on Vimeo.

That made me kind of sad.

Mellow Mondays

It is a mellow Monday. It is like dead quiet where I work. The taco bar that is usually crowded during lunch hours is surprisingly empty. During days like these, I sometimes think about the Rapture. Like, if it had happened last night while I was sleeping. Except, I start to laugh because I assume that not enough people went to heaven for anyone to really notice. It's like those Left Behind books, except mine would be incredibly short.

Captain Spandex Fetish

Spandex fetishes entertain me thoroughly.

I don't completely get it but I kind of get it. I mean, I've worn tights before. It's kind of cool how smooth and slide-y your legs are when you wear them. In the video below, you can tell he definitely enjoys the slide-y smooth aspect of his fetish. Could you imagine wearing one of those suits on a dry (possibly wet) slip'n'slide? What about an inflatable obstacle course? A freshly polished marble floor? From where I'm standing, the possibilities for fun are endless.

The thing about these Youtube videos (pretty sure there are hundreds, if not thousands) is the lack of inaction. This fetish seems pretty innocent and that's why I like it. The entire time he is positioning himself in different poses and touching his body (not in a directly sexual way). They all seem to be like that. But, I'm no expert. I'm writing this post without having conducted an ounce of research, save for  a few videos (one in a Spider Man suit!)



Did you watch the whole thing? Did you see what started to happen around the 1 minute mark?  Surprise! I wonder how many suits you can wear before things, like breathing, get a little complicated. I think he's technically wearing three suits, like a nude prep suit? I don't know. I saw another video where he was stuffing pillows in his suit and he had a base coat.

My final thought: Super heroes.

Righteous Melody Weave*

I'm going to pretend that the head honchos over at the iTunes HQ asked me to compile a list of my favorite songs for this year's summer. I'm allowed to pretend I'm a celebrity because it's 2011 and the internet rules the word and I already write a blog so I'm pretty much on the path to being "God" anyway. (The quicker route is Youtube, but I hate the sound of my voice so words it is.) As your new leader in this world, the first promise I intend to keep is letting everyone continue to be pretty lazy. And with that, all the song titles are clickable links to youtube videos, in case you feel inspired to listen to any of the songs I recommend (pro tip: right click link, open in new tab). And you better, for as soon as I fix my crystal ball and my smiting powers arrive in the mail, I'll be sure to punish all readers who don't listen to at least one of these songs! 

1. This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) - Talking Heads

Very relaxing, almost tropical? Also, a good playlist should always have at least one song by Talking Heads (or The Cure). Fact. 

2. Never Let You Go - Third Eye Blind

Another throwback, but sooooo good. Easily a "play-on-repeat"-er. Third Eye Blind has the ability, like Sugar Ray, to recall sunny and beachy images in my mind. It makes me want to crack open a weak beer like a Corona and lay in a hammock. 

3. So Nice (Summer Samba) - Marcos Valle

Climb aboard a yacht and get ready to cruise back to the late Brazilian sixties, when life was amazing. It had to be amazing, because this song is amazing. (Ugh, I couldn't find the actual song on youtube, so I'm forced to give you a link to a lame, lame version. Don't bother clicking. Just download on itunes/ steal off internet.)

4. I Love Clothes (Deadbeat Summer) - Childish Gambino

First, an awesome song by Neon Indian...about summer! (A bit too on the nose?) Second, Donald Glover rapping over it? Yes please and forever. Imagine yourself floating around in the pool from the Stacy's Mom video and/or The Graduate, totally bad ass. Plastics!

5. Our Deal - Best Coast

I feel like I've shown this video to quite a few people, but I'm just not done drooling over it all. My good friend Adam and I decided that this song is very "'driving up the coast'-y" (aka summery).

6. Can You Tell - Ra Ra Riot

Now, every single song by this band is like the best song ever. No joke. RRR is all I've been listening to since summer has started. It's alternative rock but then there are these girls who play amazing string instruments? I'm doing the math in my head right now and, yup, the best. I chose Can You Tell because lyrics, beats, love. 

The Medical Uses of a Gravy Boat

I have a question. Why do neti pots look so much like invalid feeders? (I can see any leftover expression melt off your face as a blank stare takes over. "Wtf is she talking about?" you say to yourself, either in your head or under your breath, with a tinge of anger. And then you consider why it is that you even read this blog anymore...)  Allow me to break it down and provide visuals.

We all know what a neti pot is, right? That ceramic tea pot that you fill with luke warm salt water and shove up your nostrils. The water goes through one nostril and out the other and catches all the odds and ends floating around inside your nasal cavity and drains it out. It sure looks super cool....

Okay, number two. What is an invalid feeder? Excellent question, I didn't know what one was until about two minutes ago, when I stumbledupon.com'd it. It's for feeding liquids to sickies who can't take their liquids themselves. During Civil War times. Here is the picture I found.

See? Super similar. It's like the chicken and the egg all over again. The literature I read that covered neti pot history made no mention of the feeder and vise-versa. Both kindly and quietly pretend that the other doesn't exist...and I suppose that's fine? But the design is flawed for both purposes. For plugged up or snotty users, the neti pot's stout is so large looking! I'd really think twice before trying to shove that up my nose. Why not make it just a little smaller? It's like they've never seen a nostril before! (Which leads me back to my suspicions that they ripped off the invalid feeders.) As for the 19th and 20th century doctors and nurses who thought that the invalid feeders were a life-saving device....what's wrong with using a cup? I don't quite see the benefits of that stout when you could just but small amounts of liquid in a cup. How about a straw? I know the first paper one's weren't invented quite yet, but you guys did have those natural rye grass straws laying about.

Actually, the best use of this type of container is for gravy. It holds a lot of gravy but keeps you from ruining your mashed potato castle when you are filling in the moat. Thank god, because if you let any more corn drown on your watch, it's to the dungeon with you!

Now watch this! (The whole thing. It's only what? three minutes or so? spoiler alert: he cleans his passages with alcohol!)

[Editor's Note: This post is a result of me running out of interesting things to write about, but blogging anyway to appease the hungry demands of my reader(s). Please give me some solid topics for me to write about! Or be a guest blogger! Or both!]