With the porn industry as expansive as it is today, it must be extremely difficult to come up with an awesome porn name that is both original and enticing. Finding a good porn name is really the only thing that is holding most people back from launching their porn careers, right?
Luckily, the internet is full of porn name generators! I'm pretty sure that's how most porn stars come up with their names. Normal stuff.
This post was originally written on December 13th, 2010. I'm not sure why I never posted it. Too nerdy, maybe? Oh well!
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It is 10:12 on a Monday night. I am laying on a bed in my room at the Wine Valley Inn in Solvang. To my right is the bathroom, where the pipes sound like rain. To my left is my mother snoring away. There isn't much to do in Solvang. It is a lot like Bruges... but less historic. The roads are cobbled and the shops close at five. There is nothing good on TV. So I blog.
(Ed. Note: Our trip to Solvang was filled with In Bruges references, cause that movie is the effing best!)
Today we visited the estate of William Randolph Hearst in San Simeon, also know as the Hearst Castle. It was pretty incredible.
I was blown away by the sheer size of the ranch. Everything about this well-preserved Hearst dwelling was monumental. For instance, this is the guest house. The guest house!
Today, I saw the Woody Allen film Midnight in Paris, starring Owen Wilson and an extremely talented cast. Let me just begin by saying, WHAT A GOOD MOVIE! I mean, it was a little slow at times. For instance, it showed every shot imaginable of Paris and played the same music throughout the entire film. But, get over it, I guess? In fact, this film was so on point that it creeped me out. For those of you who know me well, you know that I am nostalgic for a time long past. And this nostalgia often makes the present seem less than satisfactory. I'm always watching old movies and pining for the Carey Grants of the world. Constant comparisons, constant disappointments. But! Midnight seems to be completely anti-nostalgic. The contemporary man's idea of the Golden Age is the roaring twenties gal's boring reality. The Parisian artists of the fin-de-siecle dream of the Renaissance...
Classic grass-is-greener syndrome. Denial of the present.
In the back of my mind, I've always considered Paul F. Tompkins to be one of the funniest people I've ever had the pleasure of accidentally finding on comedy central and/or youtube.
He's handsome, well-dressed, and has an amazing vocabulary. Trust me: these things, while not huge factors, play into the total package of what makes someone funny. I don't know why exactly but it does. Science! Here is my evidence:
In this new installment, I will find similar jokes by two different comedians to see who covered the subject better. For this first round: Cinnabon
In the left corner, we have Jim Gaffigan, a self-proclaimed foodie. His jokes are fantastic... bacon, hot pockets, cake. I could listen to him all day. Also, his audience reaction impressions are hilarious.
In the right corner, please welcome Louis C.K. This guy is incredible. His humor is often self-deprecating, as it is derived from a rather negative outlook on life. A little raunchy and offensive at times, he says what we're all thinking.
I'm surprised how similar the two jokes are. Shame, airports, no justification for the consumption.... Did someone steal from someone else? I wonder.
Gaffigan's cinnabon clip is surprisingly weak compared to his other stuff. (HIS OTHER STUFF IS AMAZING, I assure you.) It's like Louis C.K. took Gaffigan's jokes and went crazy with them.
